Yep – I am still here. I know, it has been a while. In fact, my last post was nearly 5 months ago which is the longest I have gone without writing a post since I started this blog back in 2016. For several years, I wrote a post every single week but over the last year or two, my posts have certainly dwindled down to a couple of times a month, to once a month, and then the long hiatus that I previously mentioned.
I love this blog. Not writing on this blog for five months disappoints me. I feel disappointed in myself. Yet, the last couple of years has been…well, a lot. I have found myself in the worst state of writer’s block that I have ever had in my life. I am hoping that I can overcome this writer’s block and that I can commit two a couple of posts a month again.
In the meantime, I wanted to share a bit about the last couple of years and why this writer’s block has found its way into my life. If you have followed my blog for a while, you know that I am transparent to a fault. Why? Because I think that it is helpful to hear other’s struggles in education and, well, in life in general.
Writer’s Block Cause #1: My Personal Life
Before I dive too deep into this one, I am hesitant to even share my trivial struggles. There are people that have been through SO much more than I have in the last couple of years. Regardless, it is still my story and it had a huge effect on me. So, I feel it is worth sharing.
Our family has been through a lot of changes in the last couple of years. I was pregnant during the pandemic and had our son last summer. My pregnancies have always been difficult (ex: hyperemesis gravidarum) and adding a pandemic into it caused more worry than I realized. After our son was born, I had some complications and had to go through surgery. My daughter had a Lupus scare (she’s okay) but we spent months waiting to hear if she had Lupus or if it was an extreme allergy. Thankfully, it was the latter. Our son had surgery last month. Our family has been to the ER 6 times in the last year, urgent care more times than I can count, and countless doctor’s appointments. Crazy thing? All of this was just last year. Go back one more year and I have some stories about throwing out my back, another minor surgery, some possible heart concerns, and a variety of other medical-related issues.
In the end, everything has been fine…but it was a lot. I don’t say this for sympathy – just a life update to explain one part of my writer’s block.
Writer’s Block Cause #2: The Year(s) of COVID
Do I even need to go into this one? Everyone has live this time in different ways. My feelings during this time have been a roller coaster. It was exhausting – both personally and professionally. Personally, I often did not know what the right decisions were for my family, especially during my pregnancy. I wanted to do right by my family but that often had its own set of repercussions and heartbreaks. Some of these stories are too hard to share because they hurt just too much.
Professionally, it was exhausting in an entirely different way. Everything changed constantly in education. The rules, the mandates…it often felt like they changed weekly and we couldn’t keep up. Everyone was upset and it often felt like we couldn’t make anyone happy. Once students returned, it was clear that the struggles had just begun and there were so many ways our students needed support beyond academics, such as socially, emotionally, and mentally.
Trying to find ways to write during so much heartbreak and discouraging times just felt…well, impossible.
Writer’s Block Cause #3: Re-Finding My Passion
Finally, I have spent a lot of time trying to rediscover my passion and what makes me excited about education. As a teacher, my passion was instructional strategies and educational technology. Don’t get me wrong, I am still passionate about those things. However, as an administrator, I am starting to find new passions or, at least, slightly different versions of the passions that I previously had.
For instance, several of my future blog posts will be centering around the development of our PBIS program and trying to create a strong, tier 1 support system for behavior intervention. As a teacher, this would never have been a passion of mine. I did not have many behavior concerns in my classroom. As an administrator during COVID, I have found that this has become a passion of mine because it is a huge area of need. I truly believe that there is only so much movement we can make in education if we cannot make strong, positive strides towards behavior intervention in schools.
While this is only one example, it definitely inspired me to start looking at this blog through a different lens. It also encouraged me to tell myself that it is okay for this blog to take some new directions.
Phew – I feel like I just threw a lot at my readers! Again, I don’t share these stories for sympathy. I don’t share these stories for pity.
I share these stories to help others know that they are not alone.
If you have felt discouraged or heartbroken in the last year – you are not alone.
If you have felt stuck in the last year – you are not alone.
If you have felt exhausted – you are not alone.
We have all had big feelings in the last year…but it’s okay. You are not alone. We are in this together.
Thank you for listening to my story and stay tuned for some new posts in the next month!